The Confessional
by Shakabuku
Summary: Keep a special shelve in your heart for the accomplishments you're ashamed of and never visit the confessional ONE SHOT


So this is my first LWD fic, it's only a one shot and I'm not sure if I like it. It has some foul language and crude remarks - so you have been warned. I hope you don't hate it. Make sure to tell me what you think.

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I am a skirt chasing cad. I am a chauvinistic pig. I am the worst kind of male species. I'm a player and you hate it. Honestly I don't mind that much, but you sure as hell do. Maybe that's why I enjoy tormenting you with these wonderful tendencies of mine. It's fun watching you get all riled up over little ole me. Me, the guy you're too good to even pay a second glance to - but that's in normal settings and we my dear don't live in normal settings.

No we live in a place far from ordinary, one that forces you to pay attention to me. I got control of your mind without even trying. But that's the only thing I got from this household merger, everything else I've had to work for. The way you screech my name with those perfect syllables you turn it into, I worked for that. I believe it took me nearly 5 pranks to get it just right. See Case even from the beginning you have made me work hard for everything I've got. And I don't work hard. So, as much of all those things being my own special accomplishments. You being able to challenge me should be your own special award. Make sure to give it it's own special shelve in your heart, because there is nothing harder to do than what you have successfully done. Who knew you would be the one to change it all? I sure as hell didn't and I have a sneaking suspicion our parents had no clue either.

Now we have our very own routine. It's rather funny though, you think that you're scheduling habits haven't worn off on me, but they have. Don't you realize Miss Organization that I now plan everything out to the last detail when it comes to annoying you, even the time lapses between pranks that are dependent on the severity of the last one. It's all become a formula in my head. How much grief it cost you, how long it will take you to stop being suspicious, how stressed out you are with school, when no one will be around, when just enough people will see you blow steam from your ears. You see I calculate it all. Add that to your list of accomplishments too.

You've got me wrapped around your little finger you know. You consume most of my brain cells and all my free time besides hockey. I'd say dating in addition to hockey, but sometimes every so often I know I'm just going out with the latest girl, who wants pubescent fame in her high school years, because of you. Pissing you off gets me off. Oops is that wrong? Oh well it's not like everything else I do is right. If you're gunna go to hell might as well really deserve the sentence right?

Yes, I am going to hell. Well maybe, maybe not I Haven't come to terms with what exactly I have for you yet. I took your advice about using a dictionary and I found a word that I think might be labeling this emotion. Not that I have emotions ya know? Anyway it's ambivalence. Nice right? See I can be just as smart as that stupid nerd who has been flirting with you in English class. By the way don't think I don't realize your cheeks turn pink every time he compliments you or that you enjoy his attention. Has it been that long since the last time you got ass? Cause if so I'm just down the hallway.

Back to the ambivalence though. I think it pretty much accurately describes what I feel towards you cause I sure as hell hate you a lot of the time. The only problem is that I'm not so sure there is really love there. Don't get me wrong I care. You know I care, it comes through every time I know I miscalculated and hit you hard on those days when your life is so hard that even without me you could already be crying. Or when I accidentally get you in trouble that's when I get the angriest, because that means it throws my whole itinerary off. It also means I didn't get what I wanted and as you know I get what I want.

But at the same time those are the moments when I think that maybe I'm not as crazy as I make myself out to be. Cause you'll get this look in your eyes when I'm nice to you, when I respect you or your wishes. This bright eyed, beautiful girl comes shining through and although I enjoy the fire in your eye when you wanna kill me that girl is just as pretty. She's the pretty one, the other one is sexy in the I wanna slam you against the wall sorta way.

And yes there is a difference. Remember you consume my time so of course I have to pay close attention to how you act, your dislikes, likes - things like that. It's all important to how I act around you. I'd like to say that its all for the pranks, but I don't live in denial like I hope you do. It's because I care, cause again not so sure about that whole love shit.

Personally I don't think I am capable of love. So maybe for me this is as close to love as I am gunna get. As close to love as I am gunna get and I get stuck with you, just my luck. This is what we call karma my darling step sister, fucking karma. I used all those girls only to be consumed by one, you. Well I guess its one way of keeping it all in the family.

You're like that itch I need to scratch but never can. I can't get rid of you at all. As soon as you put up a fight for dominance in the house I knew you were gunna either be my greatest conquest or my worst nightmare. Turns out you're both, I always knew you were good at multitasking. You are torture. You are there, right in front of me. You are always going to be in front of me, cause here's the kicker we're "family." Yeah the people in charge of karma decided that the storyline of bad boy/playboy falling in love with his polar opposite was just too played out, instead they chose to put a new spin on it. Step-siblings. Aren't they just ingenious little fucks?

It won't matter in the end though, because no matter how high and mighty you may be Casey McDonald you are still human, although on some days I could swear you're some sort of creature all your own. But humans fail. Humans make mistakes. Humans sin. Therefore my darling you will slip up. One drunken night, one case of temporary insanity, one heated argument that goes too far - all I need is one opportunity. The good girl we both know you are, will be remorseful. Too bad not even you would confess this sin. Don't fret though cause it'll be so good you know why it's "sinful."

You may not have realized it yet, but the time is coming. And no I don't mean it in a screaming from the street corners about the apocalypse kind of coming. I mean you and I will be, well I guess cumming. I can feel it. We're more heated than ever and I think you're starting to get a bit sexually frustrated lately. I noticed you have been spending a lot more time in the shower now that we got that amazing new shower head. What I don't understand though is why you resort to the family showerhead instead of an actual guy down the hall. Maybe you're not as smart as you think you are.

Oh music to my ears, I hear you calling my name - each syllable clearly distinguished, just the way I like it. Who wins the battle doesn't really matter, because I'm in this to win the war.

"Yes Casey?"


End file.
